Canada

I write this sitting in my flat in London, overhead fan whirling at top speed trying to keep me cool on a hot and overcast day, and I realize I have no idea what the Humidex is today.

I recently returned for a very short 5 day stint to Toronto. It was a whirlwind tour of family, friends and responsibilities like renewing my passport and cleaning out my storage locker.

It had been 8 months since my last visit to Canada and in that time I have certainly done my share of settling into England. This has allowed me to view Canada with a touch of the eye of a foreigner. A few things I noted are that chicken wings are better in Canada, beer is REALLY expensive in Toronto, the trains are slow and expensive and the buildings are really tall and shiny.

Mostly though, I noted the difference in the weather forecasts.

The weather forecast in London will be something like this: “Today will be a mixture of rainy and sunny periods with a high near 24. This evening will clear, temperatures a mild 15. Tomorrow, starting sunny, getting overcast in the evening with a high of 22.”

That’s it. The weather map in the back shows cloud cover, rain and the occasionally wind direction and speed. All very simple to answer the three primary questions “Do I need a jacket?”, “Should I take my sunglasses?” and “Should I take my umbrella?”

In Canada by contrast, you practically need a science degree to understand the weather forecast. Not only will they tell you basic information like “rainy,” “sunny,” or “snowy,” but you’ll get probabilities of precipitation, amount of precipitation (snow in centimetres, rain in millimetres), percent of cloudy cover, cloud ceiling height, humidity, humidex (impact of humidity on perceived temperature), wind direction and speed, wind chill (how the speed of the wind impacts the temperature), barometric pressure and whether it is rising or falling. Canadian weather men tell you about where the high and low pressure areas are, and how the jet stream is impacting the weather systems from west to east of the country.

That is, you will admit, a lot of extra information just to answer those three primary questions “Do I need a jacket?”, “Should I take my sunglasses?” and “Should I take my umbrella?” Of course, that’s because in Canada you often have to ask not just if you need a jacket, but also mittens, a toque, snow shovel, winter boots, snow pants, face-warmer, salt, emergency food rations or bear repellent.

The two countries do share something in common when it comes to the weather forecast, though. More often than not, the forecast is wrong.

The safest thing… Always carry an umbrella, sunglasses and a jacket. To paraphrase Dickens, it is a far, far better thing that I do, being prepared for any weather eventuality, than I have ever done before (when believing the forecast); it is a far, far better peace of mind that I have in carrying both an umbrella and sunscreen than I have ever known previously when having to choose between them.

I just flew from London to Toronto. It was hell on Earth. Okay, not on earth, because we were actually 38,000 feet above it, but it was pretty bad. Air travel is just full of indignities.

Yesterday was the first time I have flown since last December, which is a long time considering that for the 8 years prior to last year, I tended to fly a good 40 out of every 52 weeks.

The train ride from my place out to Heathrow wasn't bad, though some woman was sitting beside me on the Heathrow Connect from Paddington sobbing uncontrollably between Ealing Broadway and Hayes and Harlington. Everyone sat on the train in uncomfortable silence as this woman sent and received text messages and let out wails and moans of emotional pain. Like good Brits, we stiff-upper-lip ignored her until she got off, and then everyone breathed a sigh of relief that any show of emotion had past.

Check-in at Heathrow was a zoo. Air Canada, in her wisdom, apparently decided that if one has four desks to man (economy, executive, self-serve bag drop, internet bag-drop) that three staff and two non-working bag-tag printers would be enough to handle the load. It wasn't, of course, and after twenty minutes of standing in one line, I was told to go to another queue. I abandoned my British ways and put on my "American" attitude at that point, and demanded to be checked-in. Luckily the Brits are as uncomfortable with the emotion of anger as the emotion of sadness, and they served me immediately to be free of the situation. They did ask, however, that I write a strongly worded letter to Air Canada management with my concerns. I shall start it "Dear Sirs, Regarding my recent flight of the fourth of August..."

Security wasn't too bad, though of course I got in the line behind the non-English speaker with the metal leg. The metal leg caused the detector to go off, and the poor man couldn't understand any of the instructions barked at him by the security folks. He looked quite bewildered as a young man with a buzz cut ran his hands over his body. It was only a momentary delay, though, and soon I was in the airport proper.

Past security was fine, actually. Heathrow terminal 3, once you are beyond the seventh ring of hell which is the check-in area, is quite nice. I had a pint of lager at one of the many restaurants while I waited for my flight to announce it was boarding.

The flight itself was just long and full of screaming children. Luckily I was on a jet with an individual entertainment unit, so I merely cranked up the soundtrack to "I Love You, Man" and "Push" and ignored the wailing. (Two forms of transport with wailing on it within a single day. Perhaps they are wailing because of my presence. I am the onion of transport, causing all who travel with me to cry...)

We landed in Toronto at the tail end of a thunderstorm, and after an approach so bumpy I couldn't actually read because the book was bouncing around so much, we landed without incident. The airport, though, had been closed for the 30 minutes before our arrival, and so we had to wait on the tarmac for 40 minutes while they cleared the backlog.

The final indignity is, of course, the luggage handling at Toronto's airport. I have discovered something flying into Toronto with checked bags. It is this. No matter how long it takes you to walk from your airplane to the customs area and no matter how long you take in customs, you will wind up waiting for 35 minutes for your bag at the luggage carousel. It is a punch in the stomach, really, being so close to having completed your journey yet having to wait for the slightest of things.

Truth be told, last night's flight was actually no worse than any other flight I have taken recently. I just think that I have lost the crusty shell of amour of indifference that one develops when one flies a lot. I'm not all that sad at having been out of practice, because I am not planing on flying too much more in the future. Just the occasionally vacation, I thinks. And in a lot of ways, flying away to some fantastic place to have an amazing vacation provides its own sort of amour against all the indignities of air travel today.

I am now home again in London, watching reruns of Top Gear on Dave (that'll make sense to people from the UK - for the others, I'm watching TV), doing laundry and wondering what happened to the dryer in my flat since I was last here. It now sounds a little like the inside of a jet engine, and that's just what it sounds like one room over. Being in the actual laundry room adds another 100 db of noise as well as the somewhat disconcerting smell of burning rubber.

To get from Phoenix (site of my last blog entry) to London required two flights, and there were the most eventfully uneventful flights I have ever taken. By that, I mean they were both really good flights in that nothing bad happened. In fact, they were all good.

I'll cover more on the second flight later, but the first flight from Phoenix to Toronto I used an upgrade coupon to get myself upgraded to business class. As an Elite flyer on Air Canada, I can use a coupon to upgrade from economy to business class if the original fare was of a certain set of fare classes. My flight from Toronto to London a few days later was of a specific fare class that I could not use my status coupons on, so I figured this was my last chance to use an upgrade coupon, as I haven't flown enough miles this year to requalify as an Elite flyer.

The only bad thing about the entire flight I mentioned in my last entry, and that was the fact that it left 50 minutes late. However, the captain but the pedal down and we only landed 30 minutes late in Toronto. Otherwise, it was quite fine. The business class seat was one of the "old" style of regular, but larger and cushier seats than economy. My IFE (In-Flight Entertainment) system worked fine, and I spent my time watching Ghost Town staring Ricky Gervais, eating a nice meal and drinking free Heinekens, though not too many as I was driving when I got to Toronto. I landed, and faced a customs and immigration line of 0 people ahead of me (one of the benefits of leaving the plane from seat 1A). I arrived at the luggage carousel, which in Toronto is usually an incredibly long wait. No difference this time, however my bag was the first one off, which made the wait much less than it could have been. I walked out of the airport relaxed and happy, which isn't usually a way one leaves an airport.

Christmas itself was good. I saw my family and had a big turkey dinner. Christmas Eve was dark and rainy, but at least it was just above the freezing so that I didn't face icy roads. Christmas Day itself was gray, but dry other than a little light snow in the morning. Boxing Day saw some snow, but later in the day the clouds did break and there was some sun.

I took some photos to try and capture the mixture of white and grey. It's a strange mix of depressing and pretty.

Boxing Day was my second flight - from Toronto to London. Driving to the airport I passed this plane from now defunct airways XL, one of many low cost airlines that bought the farm this year. XL left a number of UK folks stranded around the globe, but luckily the lead singer of Iron Maiden was available to save the day. Not sure why the plane is now in Toronto - perhaps someone bought it.

I did have a bit of an incident on Boxing Day. Walking to a table in a fast food restaurant, I accidentally hip-checked a table, and broke the screen on my mobile phone. With no screen, I actually can't do much with it. I can't look up people's phone numbers, and find myself unable to send any messages. No txt till l8r, lol.

My flight to London was again eventfully uneventful. I wasn't expecting to be able to get an upgrade, but ended up getting an "op up." An Air Canada flight to London was cancelled the day before, and Air Canada was still catching up. As such, they were cramming the plane as full as possible. To make sure every seat was full, Air Canada was even putting folks into the business class seats, so I got bumped up to Business Class, in what is called an Operational Upgrade, or "op up."

The plane had lie-flat seats, so I got to stretch out and lie back.

I did get a few hours sleep, and watched a movie (some historical thing about American wines and a contest in France). The only event was the fact that someone vomited in the sink in the bathroom. Walking out of the bathroom I told the flight attendants in the galley.

"The sink is clogged up," I said.

"I'll check it," one of the guys said, wandering towards the bathroom.

Sure that the situation was in hand, I turned myself to other matters. "Can I have another Heineken?"

As the remaining flight attendant popped me a fresh beer, the other flight attendant returned. "Okay, I'll let you have this beer, but then no more," he said to me.

"What, why?" I asked.

"Well, you just threw up in the sink," he said.

"No, man, that wasn't me. I just found it like that."

"Oh, okay. I think I know who it was," he said, though he never did bring me another beer after that one. Which was fine, because I pressed the ZZZ button, got the bed to lie flat and fell asleep after finishing my Heineken.

It was more comfortable than trying to sleep sitting up in economy, but frankly it still stunk. I arrived in London having only a couple of hours sleep, feeling tired and achy and just wanting to get home.

Sadly, it took two hours to get from Heathrow to my place due to closures on the London Underground. Tube closures... I am back in London.

After the heat and humidity of New Orleans, I returned to Toronto to a chilly but sunny autumn day. I love this time of year, the crispness in the air providing a nice counterpoint to the heat of the summer we just passed through, the smell of fires wafting out of chimneys.

I especially love the crisp fall days that are sunny, because they are excellent days to put on your shoes and go for a walk.

In Toronto, the leaves were just starting to change colours, some already on the ground, some bright colours of red, yellow and orange, and some leaves still green.

The next day, Sunday, Toronto got an "Indian summer," another sunny day but the temperature jumped up from 16 on Saturday to 27 on Sunday. Indian summer, for those that don't know, is a period of unseasonably warm, dry and calm weather during the fall.

After a quick walk in the morning, on Sunday afternoon, I went to my sister's place for Thanksgiving dinner. Thanksgiving is an annual holiday held in Canada on the second Monday in October. The day is a harvest festival, a time to give thanks for the bounty we have brought in from the field. Of course, I am not a farmer, so I have no bounty from the field to be thankful for. Instead, I need to find other things to be thankful for.

As such, here are the things that I am thankful for this year.

• I am thankful to Her Majesty The Queen of England and her Government for allowing me into their country
  
• I am thankful for my family and friends being so supportive and understanding of my decision to move abroad
  
• I am thankful to job hunting during the "credit crunch" for teaching me some humility and reminding me to not be arrogant and proud
  
• I am thankful to Vasque for making really comfortable shoes
  
• I am thankful to the new friends I have made here in London, and also for the old friends I have reconnected with
  
• Finally, I am thankful for cold beer and chicken and dressing sandwiches
  

Happy belated Thanksgiving to my Canadian friends, happy upcoming Thanksgiving to my American friends, and ... well, I guess happy autumn to everyone else.

I have arrived in Canada for a couple of days. Last night, I took place in a hockey pool. In a hockey pool, a bunch of guys get together and drink at a bar. Oh, and we also pick hockey teams. Each guy picks a team of 18 players, and throughout the hockey season we keep track of the goals and assists the players get, and then at the end of the hockey season (sometime next summer - it's a long season), the guys with the three best team win some money.

The guy in first, in addition to winning money, wins this trophy as well.

Last year, I won the pool, and thus was able to celebrate my win by kissing the trophy.

Sorry about the quality of the pictures. It was using my mobile phone's camera, which isn't fantastic, the bar was dark which made it hard to the camera to find focus, and it was also quite late in the evening, after a few pitchers had been consumed, so I think the photographer's hand might have been a little less than steady.

I am now debating what to do with the trophy. I could take it back with me to London, but I am afraid there really isn't enough room in my bag. Perhaps I'll just donate it to the Hockey Hall of Fame here in Toronto.